Sleeping beauty

(This story started as a random prompt but I see the potential of growing further... )

I woke up... It seemed like a peaceful morning... I was not yet ready to get out of the bed... I could hear the early morning noises, the birds chirping, the gurgling noises of the stream nearby, the temple bells ringing at a distance... The aroma of filter coffee from the kitchen managed to further wake the lazy-me and I slowly turned to my left. That’s when I saw her, sleeping next to me, a sweet serene smile on her face… I smiled back mesmerized by the beauty, only to suddenly wake up completely and recoil in horror – who the hell was this sleeping beauty, and what the hell was she doing here?

Then I looked around. It was a nice airy room, natural air breezing in and out through the open windows. Elegant white curtains fluttering at the window softening the morning sunlight giving a dreamy feeling... Some odd knick-knacks around me - a hand-painted odd colored vase, different shaped candles all set up nicely on a work table. A Butterfly adorned framed where I could see a snap of the beauty next to me - and then a voice chimed on my right - "Oh good you have woken up! You were so dead tired yesterday .. and why not, you had a terrible journey" I looked at the voice of my bestie - who I had met after a decade. 

Last time we met, she was all decked up in Wedding clothes and the Constant Reception smile wasn't quite reaching her tired eyes. 

Oh, we were in touch all the time, had heard her heartbreaking when she found her new husband was in an affair and had married under parents pressure. Had heard her confidence shaking when her in-laws - in spite of knowing about their son's negligence, expected her to be the traditional bahu of the 1950s and let her job go for their "Gharane ki ijjat". I with a few other friends also supported her when she decided to break the chains and move to a new city on her own. Heard her horrific tales of men ogling and thinking her a fair game as she was alone. But for a year, due to my own priorities, hadn't been able to connect more often or hear any tales. The final wake up call for me was cleaning up my old cupboard and finding a photo of us both with a note: Twogether we live, Twogether we smile! And I had started on my unplanned trip to meet my bestie - Savitri who was living 800 km away in a small town in Karnataka. The tales of travel - some other time!

"So did you meet my little Abha?  You were sleeping soundly, and Abha sleeps soundly when she has someone to snuggle. I woke up early, so thought will make you some coffee and breakfast.. your favorite paneer paratha with a little bowl of honey " The words bowl of honey had Savitri's familiar frown with it and all the years between us washed out! 

"Abha! She is so radiating like her name.."  That was the name of the beauty sleeping with me... As I was gathering words for the multitude of questions, the sleeping beauty woke up and Savitri got in a fussing mode in a way mothers do to their child... A look from her told me, hold your questions and she introduced me to the shy, approximately-5-year old beauty... 

"Abhu, see here who has come.. your favorite  Abhilasha aunty is here .. and do you know I called her Abhu when we were in college, come on let's brush teeth and give a sweet kissie to aunty"

Abha shied more but still looked at me with her big eyes.. 

"I want a kissie right now.. and I will take more once your have brushed.. I want to see which one is sweeter " I smiled at her and called her out. That did the trick and she tiptoed me to give a little kiss. I held her close and any misgivings I had vanished in that embrace. I was ready to hear Abha's story without any prejudice.

(..to be continued)

Happy Mothers' Day!

Mother - Amma - Aai - Mummy - Mamma - Mom 

So many words, but when you say it you get a feeling of the cozyness, the warmth, the feeling of being home! 

It gets more meaning when you yourselves become a mom - this is for girls - you realise the fear, anxiety, frustrations and worries that your mother must have hidden from you and then comes the additional feeling of Respect, for her efforts, for her love, for her sacrifice. 

There are lot of other mother figures in your life - Maternal Aunts, Paternal Aunts, The next-door neighbours, some Teachers, sometimes just someone you meet but does perform the role in a situation.. Each of them gives you love and warmth over and over again - and still they are different from what your mom is and rightly so!

Marriage gives you another Mother-figure : the much abused and feared Mother-in-law. She definitely isn't your mother, but is your spouse's. The love and respect is with an apprehension - as she is still different from what your mom is and again rightly so ! 

As a child, to all mothers - an important capability we need to learn is to forgive your Mother and Mother figures. As we appreciate their efforts , their sacrifice, there would have been times when you felt they are wrong towards you, they have mistreated you and probably at times mis-led you.. Forgive them today for all that and love them unconditionally for the love they give you. 

Forgiving is easy for your own mother, but to forgive other Mother figures - it takes a lot of courage. On this Mothers' day, find that courage, overcome the mind-blocks and look for a way to reconnect with those Mothers that made a difference in your life, the ones that have helped you be the person you are today.

Twenty-Twenty

Twenty-twenty - referred to the shortened form of the Cricket match and due to the shortened form, change in rules too.

I guess that's what has happened with this year - It has shortened the year of being outside the house, and hence changed the rules of your life.

So we are supposed to stay in our homes and stay safe, when you go out wear a mask, when you come back wash yourself thoroughly and take all precautions to not touch your eyes, nose and mouth!

Do it like the cleanliness freak - because this is twenty-twenty , rules are changed! (the Cleanliness freak are dipping Icecream boxes in Dettol water and then eating dettol flavoured icecreams 😉 )

If you have a vehicle - just keep it working, don't drive around.. if not the virus, the police will catch you, and then you may feel, virus was a better catch! 😰

When you out for essentials shopping, get ready to be overcharged for vegetables "Supply hi nahi ho raha hai " and then you think, we need to help this for the poor vegetable vendor (who may have been a cheating rikshawala in 2019) to earn his daily wages. The rule that if he is a drunkard he will take the money, buy alcohol, and then beat up his family probably hasn't changed.

 If you were the person, trying to find the best deal for any item, you will have to go with the changed rules and buy what is available at the current price because - its twenty-twenty , rules are changed!

If you had plans for an overseas vacation, a local getaway, or celebrating your loved one's birthday at a nice location, you may have to make do with the home because - its twenty-twenty , rules are changed!

Some one has said : We were dying to earn for our homes, but when it came to stay home, we are dying to go out !

But All the lockdown around may result in a lot of job-losses everywhere, the gloom of despair is not spreading its wings.
At this time - what we need is "The Cheerleader's Dance" It doesn't change anything, but for cheers you up for a while, and gives the players a minute to breathe and re-focus!

Re-focus on priorities, on what needs to be done and what was never!
Re-focus on essentials, what is required and what was never!
Re-focus on the new world that is emerging and unlearn the old !

This is twenty-twenty , rules are changed - So we have to play differently !

Bhishma : The instigator of Mahabharata War ?

When someone talks about Mahabharata or Jaya : people talk about why it happened or rather who to blame for the final destructive war .  We discuss about Draupadi taunting Duryodhan and Karna on different occasions - triggering the Game of Dice and ultimately war , About how Dhritarashtra has been blinded by his love for his son and agreeing to everything he says,  About the jealousy amongst Kaurava and Pandava , About Yudhisthir  being trapped in his sense of Right Dharma , etc.  I haven't heard or  read about Bhishma causing the war, yet. 

So my two pai's on Bhishma's role: 

His Single father loves another lady. The lady's father cannot say no because his father is a King - so the bride's father gives a conditional approval, that only her sons will become Kings and not Bhishma. 

He needed to read between the lines - that guy is saying No , but he goes and takes an oath to not marry and protect the throne for lifetime! 

He chose with Authority that his Younger Nephew Pandu to be the King because of his abilities were superior over his Older Nephew. But when it came to grandsons, He did not command the same Authority to take the right decision? He let his Older Nephew take the call ..

Why did he not use his Authority as being the Family Eldest, Great warrior of his time - to stop the Game of Dice or the Draupadi Cheerharan ? 

Why did he not use this Authority to make Shri Krishna's peace discussions a success ?

As I am not an expert in Mahabharata / Jaya, I wonder about the answers. The Series Mahabharata has Dialogues for Bhishma where he says he is "Vivash" all the time, translated as Helpless or  not in control. The answers may be in there in the same Epic - as it is said 

यदिहास्ति तदन्यत्र यन्नेहास्ति न तत् क्वचित् |

yadihAsti tadanyatra yannEhAsti na tat kvacit |

(That which exists in the Mahabharata exists everywhere in the world.

That which is not in the Mahabharata does not exist anywhere else)

 So I may not know all answers but Some day I will find it :)

 

#Lockdown

The world as we know has changed. It will never go back to be the same.

When Governments end Lockdowns across the world,
We will wonder are they doing it because the fear of spread has reduced or to bring a bounce to economy ..
We will always fear, when someone sneezes of coughs, is that person a carrier or  infector ?
We will always be anxious, when our kids go to schools and creches and fret on their health..
We will always be in a doubt, when another virus will take over the world..
We will always dream, when all will be normal, when will I take that vacation without any worries.
We will always plan , for such crisis - physical health, home finances, mental stability

and We will always remember and reminisce -- during lockdown , we did this and we did that and we were so brave that we stayed home !

Over a Period of time !

Was browsing through old posts and wanted to check how much I have changed .. 

So here I go
10 Random Facts
1. I love dark chocolates... darker they are more I like them.
 - This is still my favorite, though now I am building a partner for this crime.. my son..though he loves only dairy milk - no nuts
2. I am a Farmville addict.. unless I am visiting our real world farmpur regularly. 
- This addiction is totally off, My New Addiction is Kindle reading , actually the first one is playing with my son.
3. In songs, I like them only if I understand and like the lyrics. The music - IMHO- flows with the words. 
- This is valid still.
4. I am very lazy.. and I try hard not to be.  
- Not so very, but these days its called, selective prioritization and lack of discipline 
5. I am always homesick :( even after staying out of home for long stretches (Engg 4 years, US 2.5 years, Aus now 5 months) ..I always want to go home!!!  
- Now I know Home is a feeling not a place.. and based on place and situation, the homesickness sets in 
6. I believe more in Palmistry than horoscopes. Again Lines on your hand keep changing too..I have seen them change on mine !  
- Have stopped looking for future, I now believe, Now and here should be enjoyed :)
7. I hate anything related to clothes - shopping, washing, ironing - you say it and I hate it :) 
- Ahh this stays.. Ironing is outsourced, washing effort reduced, but shopping still stays on hatelist, so once in a while I go out in a shop that I know well, buy 4-5 sets and relaxxx.. 
8. I like to stay connected to the internet. Not exactly a junkie, but keep reading things and updates. 
- Social Media eats up internet time, but it sort of gives me direction to read. and then I realised that on Social media, what you read  drives more similar articles /post .. so that too turns me off these days. the whole contextual placement , isnt helping me widen my knowledge. 
9. I want to start Technical blogging but point 4 affects me.. :)
- Still same .. but then I have turned to Managerial track - that shouldnt stop me from sharing experiences there.. yet. 
10. I want to write a novel someday.. Even if no one reads it, I am ok. 
- I have some progress here.. I put together a framework , but not moved ahead of it. Some other stuff that gets prioritized. 

The Q&A session:

1. What is the first thing you do when you wake up?

Think about - do I need to get up now or can snooze and sleep a bit more..(Refer to fact#4)
- still the same and my husband is way too irritated about this  😀😀

2. How do you express your anger?

You can see my anger pretty easily and in words and body language. If I can restrain it, it will come as sarcasm.
- Havent changed much there although, I have more control over the anger coming in words or body language. I take time to understand the other person's perspective and place where they are coming from. 

3. If you had to live on a lonely island and take only one book with you, which one would that be?

It would be one I want to read and hence very accessible and have not been able to pick up at all.
- The Bhagvadgita ? I will get enough time to read and understand it and will stay calm due to it 

4. An embarrassing moment/ fact about you?

I am very forgetful about my appearance..and hence never can make a first good impression :(
- Still the same , still the same..

5. How much do you let your academic success/failure affect your life?

Academic success has surely paved a way ahead while pursuing academics. I mean, the next level of education asks for how much did you get in your previous exam. But then real life, where it really matters  who cares how much you scored in your SSC ?
- Academic outcome ? I have to start learning for that. If I translate it to Professional success / failure / setback / feedback - I get way to pissed off in the first phase , second phase understand the anger and the other set of people's perspective and third phase - Bake a cake 😃

6. Do you believe in first impressions?

I believe in first intuitions. Isn't it same as first impressions ? No. A person might impress you in first meeting. But you always get an intuition if the person matches the impression or not. 
- Again the same 

7. What period of your life do you think was best?

Now.. I love to think about the past, but I think now is better than before. 

- Still the same 

8. Do you live in present more or brood about past and fantasize about future more?

I believe in past whatever decisions I have taken are based on my knowledge, situation and analysis at that point of time and I continue to do so in present as well as in future. So Why worry? Just stay here and now and do the right thing.

- Once again, the same .. 

9. Your favorite cartoon and why?

Tom and Jerry :)  
- Any animation now , although the adult mind adulterates the fun trying to find hidden meanings in some 

10. And finally Harry potter or Twilight?

Harry Potter.. There is more maturity in young Harry Potter than the teenager Bella. 

- Still the same thoughts



Overall, Looks like my core stuff hasnt changed over time, if these questions were supposed to find it - But I Like the questionnaire: I can have my team answer it to have a fun virtual meeting !