Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Emotions at work

Is it really right to burst into a emotional scene at work?  Or is it okay when you have crossed your limits of patience and understanding? Or is it totally unprofessional ?

I have seen various papers on this topic, each trying to put the virtues of one approach or other.. But then what is the right thing ?

I was going through an Anger Management capsule (No, I wasnt assigned one :)) . It mentions even if you are under undue pressure due to others mistakes, made target of undue frustrations of someone else, losing quality time with family due to unnecessary meetings and status calls, Dont Get Angry. Use Constructive methods to channelize your anger , etc.  But, damn it, it isnt professional on the other people's end, why should I suffer and "channelize"?

Even if I specify my expectations at outset and I repeatedly bring it to the concerned people that things are not going in that direction and yet if I don't see an action then what do I do?

Need to find some behavioral thinker :)

Sunday, May 05, 2013

National Obsession

Ok. Thats copied from very famous TV series by a famous actor.. dont want to increase my blog hits for mentioning them.. but I will always remember that the National Obsession of our country is Marriage !!

I used to think its only my parents .."You want to buy a house? Do it after your marriage", "You want to go somewhere ? Do it after your marriage" , "We will go on a India tour but after your marriage" , "We want to do something, but after your marriage" .. That's a different story that I did what I wanted to do after convincing them yet, getting them do what they want to "after my marriage" is something not attained it. It hurts, but then cant help :)
Recently I heard a similar case with one of my friends parents.. Its a little more crazy .. They are not ready to take up any treatment for their chronic ailments at a faraway place..till my friend's sister gets married !!
Earlier a few years back, I was at another friends place, where my friend's mom was telling her other daughter to not to take up medicine because it will be difficult to find a guy who will marry a doctor. The Aunty in question is a professor in a Engg. college.
The trigger for this post was actually a FB post from an acquaintance.. younger than me.. "Finally Climbed the ladder of Success....................proved myself rite in every aspect of Life..........Love u My Life:)" 
People who have commented hinted at her marriage getting fixed .. including her father saying "I am relieved"!!
I hope she is not talking about what I am assuming, but based on the overall tone and knowing her it seems to be the same.. and if it is then damn! Ladder of Success ?!?!

And its not just for girls.. One of my cousin was contemplating on selling off his business and taking up a job because he was not able to find a girl to marry !! 
Some of my team-members wanted a transfer to locations other than Mumbai because back in their native Mumbai was supposed to be a dangerous place and girls would not agree to marry them !! 

Not that I undermine the aspect that you require a life partner for companionship or sometimes put as a physical need or even the aspect of Security for women in the eyes of the Society - But should it really be sooo important that parents should put everything on hold for this ? 

And then is there really a surety of having the required outcomes from a marriage? I have seen happy couples. But then I have also seen people struggling through their marriages, getting separated,   being constantly unhappy in their marriages. Not really getting the companionship or even basic understanding from the partner is very common. An awful lot adjust with it for the society and the fear of gossip affecting their family.. and some do get out of it with repercussions.. 

But then, do we have to be so obsessed with it ? Whatever you plan to do, or wherever you plan to go  - does it have to be always weighed against marriage ? The cases I have mentioned are very few from those I have seen.. There would be lot more..

I am not against the institution of marriage.. Someday I will get married too when I find the right person or when I am destined to or as my mother puts it "When the time comes" .. But till that time, is it really worth putting all decisions on hold for it ?

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

So I got an award..

I like this way of keeping the blog alive and encouraging others to do as well.. Tags or Awards or just खो ..

So I get this award from Gomathi and as per her post I need to follow the rules

The rules:

1. 10 random facts about yourself.
2. Answer the questions please.
3. Nominate 11 bloggers with less than 200 followers.
4. Write 11 questions for them to answer.

So here I go
10 Random Facts
1. I love dark chocolates... darker they are more I like them.
2. I am a Farmville addict.. unless I am visiting our real world farmpur regularly.
3. In songs, I like them only if I understand and like the lyrics. The music - IMHO- flows with the words. 
4. I am very lazy.. and I try hard not to be. 
5. I am always homesick :( even after staying out of home for long stretches (Engg 4 years, US 2.5 years, Aus now 5 months) ..I always want to go home!!!
6. I believe more in Palmistry than horoscopes. Again Lines on your hand keep changing too..I have seen them change on mine !
7. I hate anything related to clothes - shopping, washing, ironing - you say it and I hate it :)
8. I like to stay connected to the internet. Not exactly a junkie, but keep reading things and updates. 
9. I want to start Technical blogging but point 4 affects me.. :)
10. I want to write a novel someday.. Even if no one reads it, I am ok. 

The Q&A session:

1. What is the first thing you do when you wake up?

Think about - do I need to get up now or can snooze and sleep a bit more..(Refer to fact#4)

2. How do you express your anger?

You can see my anger pretty easily and in words and body language. If I can restrain it, it will come as sarcasm.

3. If you had to live on a lonely island and take only one book with you, which one would that be?

It would be one I want to read and hence very accessible and have not been able to pick up at all.

4. An embarrassing moment/ fact about you?

I am very forgetful about my appearance..and hence never can make a first good impression :(

5. How much do you let your academic success/failure affect your life?

Academic success has surely paved a way ahead while pursuing academics. I mean, the next level of education asks for how much did you get in your previous exam. But then real life, where it really matters  who cares how much you scored in your SSC ?

6. Do you believe in first impressions?

I believe in first intuitions. Isn't it same as first impressions ? No. A person might impress you in first meeting. But you always get an intuition if the person matches the impression or not. 

7. What period of your life do you think was best?

Now.. I love to think about the past, but I think now is better than before. 

8. Do you live in present more or brood about past and fantasize about future more?

I believe in past whatever decisions I have taken are based on my knowledge, situation and analysis at that point of time and I continue to do so in present as well as in future. So Why worry? Just stay here and now and do the right thing.

9. Your favorite cartoon and why?

Tom and Jerry :) 

10. And finally Harry potter or Twilight?

Harry Potter.. There is more maturity in young Harry Potter than the teenager Bella. 

And now the toughest part : 11 Nominees

Be the change you want to see in the World  : This would be completely offtopic for you. But still, you can use this to revive your blog

Creativity N Colors : You can take this up to reply in pictures if you wish. 

Few Fragrant Flowers : Hi Doc ! Hope you can do this one.. 

Minal : Trust me, Tags like this help you write more. 

My Own Pensive..come fall in : This one is going to be easy for you.

The Cynic Rant : Hey Cynic, put in your cynicism in this tag

Untitled : Try this tag..  :)

Speaking up..Jotting down. : You havent been writing for long as you have been busy :) Try this to restart..

Simply Me : You have simply been out of radar.. Hope you take this up.

Life on Dialysis : Enjoy the tag.. 

Purn!ma Prabhu-Kamath : You write pretty good stuff these days..So try this out too.. 

This award really needs some efforts to receive.. But atleast I posted something.. 

Monday, March 18, 2013


Have we grown so cynic that we doubt when someone does a good thing to you?

Have things been so worse that if someone does a favour we doubt what does this person want from me?

Have we become so competitive that - if someone tells you how sad they are, you tell your story and that should be much more sad than the other person's ?

The Grass is always greener on other side.. Someone else's Life is always better than ours.. and our life is always more complicated than anyone else..

Is Contentment out of fashion ?