Optimism

Is it possible to be optimistic all the time ?

I used to get frustrated over lot of things at a point of time in life. Then a friend showed me, getting frustrated is taking me nowhere.. the situation remains the same, the people remain the same and I also stay in the same place.. There is only one difference, I have grown bitter and angry and it does not affect anyone else.

I had to check my emotions and words - continuously - to stay away from frustrations in adverse situations, keep thinking to find a way because there is always a way out. and it has helped me so far..

God, As I enter the world of indefinite, please help me keep my optimism, come what may.. and when I start losing it, I will remind you of this Blog prayer :)

Teacher and Ex

Some words never go together.. Like teacher and Ex.. have you ever heard someone , even yourself saying "I met my ex-Teacher today"? No ways.. Teachers never go Ex. It doesnt sound at all good.
This came up when I was talking about my Classical dance teacher. I left it aorund 15 years ago. But when I said, my ex-teacher has performed in a live programme, I did not like the word myself..
And then all teachers started crowding my memories..

I still remember sitting near my Jr KG teacher's chair. After completing whatever she had asked us to, I was caught doing a mischief :P. I dont remember her name though.

Then there was our Gracy Teacher for Sr. KG. She was such a sweetheart. I dont remember what she taught us, but I do remember the pleasant way she used to talk to us. Even if she always talked in English and I was too young, I knew I understood everything. On the day I forgot to take my Schoolbag, she had hugged me and quietened my tears. On the day I wore a Uniform Shirt-pant like boys, she had told me very sweetly that if you are a girl you should wear Pinafore and that it looks good on me. She passed away last month. I last met her some 3-4 years back and I feel there should have been another chance.. She was one teacher I remember who was never in any controversies, never heard any complaint or cross word about her. She remembered every student's name whichever class you are in. Gracy Teacher- May you rest in peace and I will never forget you.

Then there was my Marathi teacher who has been mentioned here.

Then Vrinda teacher, Beola Teacher, Pereira Teacher, Naik Teacher .. thats till standard 4th when we had only 1 teacher for all subjects.

From 5th-7th, teachers changed subject-wise. Vasantha teacher, Meenal teacher, Jyoti Teacher, Padmaja Teacher..

The in Final years of school, we had Sekar teacher, Bhalerao Teacher, Jignasa Teacher and the unforgettables Bhat Teacher & Bhat Sir.

Teachers after this stage were more professionals and less personally involved.

But I should mention, our Hostel Warden ARP sir, who loved us but always scolded us for lot of disciplinary goof-ups :P. Also Our IT Dept. Head and our Local Guardian in college - Prof R C Thool and his wife Thool Madam.. He is a gem of a person and always provided us with every facility and kept us free from the College Bureaucracy red tapes.

Its been a loong loong time since I met or contacted many of them. Hope this post starts a thread of communication!

There have been a lot more teachers teaching a lot at every walk of life.. I have just mentioned the Academia here :)

Great Moments

Some great moments in your life can be very simple..
One of my teammate said "I want to be like you"
I am not sure what emotions rushed for a few moments.. From Pride to Happiness .. a sense of responsibility that I have to be followable.. (Wow what a word!) .. a moment of success.. and what not!

I know I am boasting.. but I guess sometimes its ok !

Boss and I

Some feelings you cant explain..
I received an email from our HR asking for a photo as I am nominee for some award.. As far as I know for this award, I had requested one of other leaders to nominate my boss.. and she said it was already being done..
As always there are only a certain number of people that can be awarded.. So with this photo request, I am feeling too sad that, probably, my boss hasnt received the award and I have..
The realisation of being nominated for an award does fill in but then the sorrow is overwhelming..

I know I am in the world of probabilities.. but I do not want to get past my boss.. till now I have always achieved things after him .. after all he has taught me a lot and got me till here..helped me all the way in my personal and professional life to grow in the right way.. first as friend then as a leader , always as a great mentor!

And I am not the only one who likes my boss -- another colleague and friend who is in my team says in Rajanikanth ishtyle "He is a LEGEND in the field of IT"

I hope sincerely that my boss gets this award and not me.. or probably an award better than this one!!

UPDATE !!! My boss and I both got the award !!!!!

Belated Birthday

Some days are like that..You dont want anyone to come to your place especially in large numbers.. Just the people you stay with.. and things happen rapidly against your wishes, surprising, making you happy and making you guilty for feeling like kicking all the people who had come to your place..

One such day was the last sunday.. I wanted to home all the day long.. woke up a little bit before noon.. then with my 2 roomies decided up a simple menu for lunch but the ingredient was at a different colleagues place, so asked him to get it.. He came with his roommate with the ingredient and for lunch .. I was soo frustrated at the presence of external people at home. On top of it, this guy is a absolute male chauvinist (I almost said p*g) so when another colleague dropped by for a while with his little girl, this MCP tells her "Dont play with the electronics and become an engineer, go for arts commerce and get into teaching" Well the eighteen-month-old little girl was too busy playing with a red mobile, so dint mind, but all of us three roomies blasted off on him.He actually has a girl of his own as well.. He had to retreat for the sake of it.. but it was just too frustrating for me..
As evening came in one by one some more people started dropping in .. all from our apartment complex and seemed to have just arrived by chance.. I was damn bored with already existing people and this addition was irritating me.
I was trying not to get into a conversation as I am absolutely bad at them in such mood.. And suddenly a Cake Appeared from No-where and everyone burst into a "Happy Birthday to you " I was puzzled, surprised, dazed and absolutely had nothing to say than a Smile and a thank you.. It was my birthday party as I wasnt in US on my birthday! So everyone had planned to drop by together for a little party with a delicious Choclate cake (the cream of which ended up as my Facial) ..
It cheered me up totally !! The party was followed by a Pizza party and lot of fun and timepass..
and a guilty conscience that I hated it when everyone was joining in..
I am sorry guys and Thank you very much for the Cake!!
I will be careful next time I get frustrated for no reason...
Note: this post started in January , but concluded in March..

Moment of Test

In 2008, I saw two of my colleagues failing the test of time and integrity at work.

Both of them people of good and helping nature.. A lot crazy and selfish at times but equally helping to the person in trouble.. These two were the people who supported me in my initial phase in US.. First two to arrive on spot of my accident to console me..

It happened roughly this way.. Mr A , had access to the Production systems, goofed up something in one of the programs.. realized and fixed it on spot without letting anyone know. When questioned, lied that he did not fix.. When the lie was found , he was taken out of the Project .. and then probably asked to resign. He is in a different company now.

Mr B, had access to Production, resolved an issue, but took out some personal vengeance during the testing and printed out improper words on a Purchase Order at one of the Business Branches with someone else's user id. An absolutely ridiculous act which spoiled all his reputation built up as "Security Czar" and a denial which led him directly out of the company...

Both of them lost control of themselves at the moment of truth, helm of power and responsibility. But I guess the mettle of person is tested in such situations. You pass and you feel better about yourself .. or you fail and fail miserably, lose everything you gained.

Oh God, how much ever sufferings you give me dont let me fail in one of such moments in my life.. You may not give me a lot of success in my life but give me the strength and courage and right conscience to pass such testing situations.. !

Being Charged Extra?

Tuned in to my car radio in one of last 2-3 days. Since the local desi channel was having some discussion going on , I changed it to another one where it had the Delilah show.Something about the Delilah show that I know.. I used to hear it in Connecticut during driving in the evenings. Usually I used to be alone in the car so wanted some sound around. Dint understand much of the songs, but her soothing voice telling to "sit back and relax" used to be good to hear. When I arrived in Dallas, I thought I will have to look for some local FM channel as driving company, there I had found the desi channel radio Salaam Namaste. Once I lost what frequency it was and started the scan, and at one point I heard Delilah, to my surprise, to sit back and relax...So back to what I want to write about.. As usual, Delilah had a caller who said she had been dumped by her ex-boyfriend and now she was going around with another guy, whom she loved but is always afraid that he doesnt love her enough or will just dump her again. Delilah's answer was something that I liked. She said " You walk into a Store, and you have bought a can of soda. You are standing in a line in front of the cashier, and when its your turn the cashier says your bill is 28 dollars while you are buying a can of soda for say 3 dollars. You ask the cashier, I have just bought this soda for 3 dollars and you are charging me 28. If the cashier replies, yours in just $3 but the person in front of you did not pay $25 so you have to pay it , what would your reaction be ? " The caller realised that she was treating the new guy with pain of the old and she then agreed she will think it in a differnet light. Thanking Delilah and requesting her song dedicated to the new guy she hung up.
Nice answer isnt it? Many of us keep doing this a lot of times in lot of places.. Angry with someone , take out your frustration on someone else. Frustrated with something in your life, keep bickering about everything.. I do it a lot of times.. but now I will watch, am I charging the person for something that he hasnt bought ?

Leadership????

Friday we had a meet of our business Unit, An occasion organized by HR people once in a while.. Supposed to be quarterly but not necessarly so..
As usual the venue was in the western suburb of Mumbai.. Lower parel.. and for me meets spell as "T R A V E L" be it any kind of meet.. Not that I dont like travelling.. But the occasion should be worth the travel!
So after a lot of fuss with my PM and some kind of efforts from her side to provide me the returning transport, we all started off. My PM had talked to the transport co-ordinator, our ex-PM and had got an assurance for me that I will be taken to any railway station on the Central Railway. I was content with it.
The bus ride to the location from office took 2 hours. Put up on the last seat of the bus, the start was bumpy.. It took 1.5 hours from Mhape to Lower Parel. The road improved as we hit the express highway, till then had quite a few jumps!
As we neared Lower Parel, it dawned on us that the driver did not know the exact location of the destination. I overheard the guys next to me , lets name them A and B , saying "Ye galat directionme leke ja raha hai" One of the transport co-ordinators called up A, and the one side conversation was something as follows
A: "Ha Bol" "Mujhe nahi pata kahan hai.. Ruk B ko puchta hun"
A to B: tujhe pata hai na jagah?
B to A: haan pata hai
A: "Haan B ko pata hai, Hum pahunch jaate hai" "Haan me dekhta hun "
A to B: Ye driver sahi ja raha hai na
B to A: Abhi tak to aisa hi lag raha hai.. Are yahan left turn lena tha .. isne right le liya.. Aage se koi left hoga..
A to B: Dekhte hai.. Are ruk kyun gaya? wo banda gaya na dekhne .. usko pata hoga..
B to A : Nahi re usko bhi nahi pata, wo dekh niche utre puchne ke liye ..
Me (burst in cos I cant be a silent spectator) : Tumko raasta pata hai to jaake bolo Driver ko
B: (smiles) puch raha hai na wo
Me : (Speechless)
after some time on the wrong route
A to B : Chal jate hai
B to A :Haan chal
(Both are still not getting up on their feet)
Finally the driver found the right way and took to the place "High Phoenix"
A to B : aa gaye barabar jagah par
B to A: Haan sahi jagah par pahunch gaye.. Chal chalte hai.
And Mr B was the first to get down the Bus :-)
The meet was put up in Phoenix Mill compound, Bowling Arena. It was my First visit to any bowling arena so was a bit apprehensive about it. As soon as I entered I found few of my training friends and we started off with the pleasantries and discussion about whos still in the company and whos not! They took me towards the bowling alley and made me give a try.. And Lo!I hit all but two in my first throw.. The ball was heavy and somehow took me back to my schooldays when I played Shotput.. No similarities except the weight but probably that was the only thing I could relate to.. After trying my hand fr 2-3 times , I retreated to search more acquaintances..
Meeting up people with whom you have worked at a point of time is a nice experience!. You forget the arguments and grudges and meet with a fresh mind. At informal occasions as these, its changes your attitude towards people.. Also these occasions provide a conducive environment for cribbers, you can hear a lot of sensible and non sensible comments from co-workers and if you have extendable ears, from Top to bottom !
We had a small award distribution function. The awards were for Valuable contribution towards the Project and company and Letters of Appreciation. As per the citations read out, the Award winners had displayed a strong sense of commitment to work, good teamplay, proactive approach for the project, etc. Both A & B were in this list of awardees for Valuable contribution!!!
Later as the DJ started mixing songs, one by one all Project managers took their team for introduction with the SuperBoss , the head of the BU. I dont know how many names he heard or remembered in the din, but that might help him to know faces.
After some time, even My boss took us for th introduction.. The music was blasting in full volume.. hope he remembers atleast our faces :-)
My return travel had not been decided till then. Ex-PM and my PM had asked one of the Senior people , who incidentally stays at Dombivli to accompany me. This Senior came to me towards the end of the program and the conversation was as follows:
Senior : Aparna, its 7 oclock now, and the program will end at 7:30. Parel station is just a little distance away from here, You can get a taxi for it.. Or you can go by our bus to some station.
Me: Okay. We can leave now, if you are starting now.
Senior: Actually I am going to roam around a bit here.
Me: Okay I will be here till you are back. Or if I am leaving earlier willleave a message for you..
Senior: No, I might not come back to this place, might leave directly.
Me: Hmm, Okay I will go by myself. thanks for the directions! :-)
After he left, I felt like laughing aloud.
Anyways, the program ended in some time. Finally I left on my own.
And then I met the infamous taxidriveres of Mumbai. On hearing Parel railway station , each pointed to the other driver. I finally asked one , is it too near? He said yes go straight down this road. Unsure of the raod, I asked in a roadside shop. He said "Khup duur aahe madam, Taxi karun ja" Again the search of taxi. Finally the 9th taxi I asked said "Baith Jao"
And thus I reached Parel railway station!
Luck favored after that, No queue at ticket window, Whatever Change required was available with me. As soon as I got down on the platform, A Dombivli Local was indicated, I climbed into the train without any pushing. Got inside and found 2nd seat to sit. And then slowly moved to the Window seat!
At the end of the day, I had seen various forms of leadership quality!

Finally what I felt at the end was that "Alls well that ends well" :-)

Personal Effectiveness

Recently attended a training on Persoanl Effectiveness.. It was a part of my Individual Development plan suggested in my Appraisal.
It was quite an interesting training..
First we were to note down our strengths and draw a picture for anyone of the strength. Then we were divided in pairs and supposed to get a feedback about the picture from other person and then have a introduction with that person. After this exercise, we had to introduce the other person to the group and explain their picture.
Then there was a session on ENNEAGRAMs - Nine personalities. An idea of Greeks, that basically there are only 9 types of personalities. We had to go through Questionnaires and then the trainer would identify which is the dominant personality in each of us.
Also there was Johari window. I already have one online.
After the first day we had home work too.. To complete the Script Questionnaire..That was all about self, parents, Childhood impressions , thoughts about future..
The second day we discussed this Script. and further on ENNEAGRAMs, How to deal with the Nine personas.

The gist what I found is that, We need to keep talking, to ourself, to friends and take our thoughts in a positive direction. Analyze each thought, if it is logical or Not. Check at every instance, is my worry realistic.. or am I just imagining things..
Am i in this world or an imaginary world?
When we hit the ground reality, we discover ourselves..
and the Discovery is fascinating.. As I delved deeper inside myself, I found I had bound myself by too many beliefs and chains.. I found about my deepest fears, which ruled my decisions.. and now I will make it sure that they do not affect my decisions..
Taking charge of Self is something that everyone needs to do.. Lets see how successful I am !

Note for readers:
Please keep commenting on my blogs, and let me know if I am improving or vice versa :-)

Musings..

When I see a girl smoke or drink, how do I perceive it?
I dint like the girl intially.. but then I tried to look beyond her habits.. She is a nice person, quite an extrovert, considerate .. She took care her habits wont affect me.. Why did I not like her?
Consider a guy doing the same thing, will I dislike the person at the first instance?

On giving a further thought I found Yes, I really do not like such people at first instance. May be when I do come to know of better things about them , I can be friendly towards them.
But something in me dint make me comfortable with the girl. She was with me for hardly 4-5 days. May be I am really not the person who believes in Men Women equality?
But thats what I have seen around me .. A girl who speaks out her mind clearly is considered arrogant.. A girl taking initiative is considered over zealous.. and when I ask why I am branded the same way..

No I am not defending myself, I am ashamed of my perception of that girl. I should have treated her as I would have done to any other girl.. I should not have treated her differently.. Just like any other person who has fallen in bad habits.. and should have tried to know her more.. Should have tried to be with her if she was lonely.. But I dint do it..

Next time, let me remember this..