Saturday, July 29, 2006


When I see a girl smoke or drink, how do I perceive it?
I dint like the girl intially.. but then I tried to look beyond her habits.. She is a nice person, quite an extrovert, considerate .. She took care her habits wont affect me.. Why did I not like her?
Consider a guy doing the same thing, will I dislike the person at the first instance?

On giving a further thought I found Yes, I really do not like such people at first instance. May be when I do come to know of better things about them , I can be friendly towards them.
But something in me dint make me comfortable with the girl. She was with me for hardly 4-5 days. May be I am really not the person who believes in Men Women equality?
But thats what I have seen around me .. A girl who speaks out her mind clearly is considered arrogant.. A girl taking initiative is considered over zealous.. and when I ask why I am branded the same way..

No I am not defending myself, I am ashamed of my perception of that girl. I should have treated her as I would have done to any other girl.. I should not have treated her differently.. Just like any other person who has fallen in bad habits.. and should have tried to know her more.. Should have tried to be with her if she was lonely.. But I dint do it..

Next time, let me remember this..


Varsha said...

Hey Aparna...its natural to dislike someone at the very first meeting if they indulge in habits that go against your principles or values. And for us..seeing a girl indulge in smoking is a greater cultural shock than seeing a boy do it...when its just a shock..not even a "culture" shock.

A nice writeup

simi said...

hey appi...its very true.... thts a normal thing.... but remember d ext time.... no diff...ok :)

mathew said... a ex-smoker..lemme assure u smoking has nothing to do with a person..I have really good and frank smoking friends who are leagues better than any non-smoking "am-a-angel" brats!!!

Nandana said...

Is smoking which brings equality i dont think so - both have their own field and limits where the are good or bad
There are other things that u can make u hate ppl be it first or and impression obtained later.

We have to hate the sin not the sinner ----- but difficult to follow

ganeshnu said...

Not liking a person for smoking habits may not be as bad. Most smokers are considerate and understand that their habits can cause irritation to others.

More sinful acts are discriminating/making fun of people based on thier external beauty or financial position.

Ever made fun of a stamerrer (Hakla)?

Gunjan said...

Yeah! sadly true.. I think its our upbringing that inculcates this prejudice.
A long way to go till we call ourselves broad-minded, rite?
Phew ! :(

Anonymous said...

We tend to live in denail most of the time... the day we learn to accept what we are, we are far more better than what it seems like... unfortunately for us human nature doesnt change so easily

Shoonya said...

a perfect blend of true feelings in words of irrational hatred for a particular group and a message to avoid such prejudice