Belated Birthday

Some days are like that..You dont want anyone to come to your place especially in large numbers.. Just the people you stay with.. and things happen rapidly against your wishes, surprising, making you happy and making you guilty for feeling like kicking all the people who had come to your place..

One such day was the last sunday.. I wanted to home all the day long.. woke up a little bit before noon.. then with my 2 roomies decided up a simple menu for lunch but the ingredient was at a different colleagues place, so asked him to get it.. He came with his roommate with the ingredient and for lunch .. I was soo frustrated at the presence of external people at home. On top of it, this guy is a absolute male chauvinist (I almost said p*g) so when another colleague dropped by for a while with his little girl, this MCP tells her "Dont play with the electronics and become an engineer, go for arts commerce and get into teaching" Well the eighteen-month-old little girl was too busy playing with a red mobile, so dint mind, but all of us three roomies blasted off on him.He actually has a girl of his own as well.. He had to retreat for the sake of it.. but it was just too frustrating for me..
As evening came in one by one some more people started dropping in .. all from our apartment complex and seemed to have just arrived by chance.. I was damn bored with already existing people and this addition was irritating me.
I was trying not to get into a conversation as I am absolutely bad at them in such mood.. And suddenly a Cake Appeared from No-where and everyone burst into a "Happy Birthday to you " I was puzzled, surprised, dazed and absolutely had nothing to say than a Smile and a thank you.. It was my birthday party as I wasnt in US on my birthday! So everyone had planned to drop by together for a little party with a delicious Choclate cake (the cream of which ended up as my Facial) ..
It cheered me up totally !! The party was followed by a Pizza party and lot of fun and timepass..
and a guilty conscience that I hated it when everyone was joining in..
I am sorry guys and Thank you very much for the Cake!!
I will be careful next time I get frustrated for no reason...
Note: this post started in January , but concluded in March..

Moment of Test

In 2008, I saw two of my colleagues failing the test of time and integrity at work.

Both of them people of good and helping nature.. A lot crazy and selfish at times but equally helping to the person in trouble.. These two were the people who supported me in my initial phase in US.. First two to arrive on spot of my accident to console me..

It happened roughly this way.. Mr A , had access to the Production systems, goofed up something in one of the programs.. realized and fixed it on spot without letting anyone know. When questioned, lied that he did not fix.. When the lie was found , he was taken out of the Project .. and then probably asked to resign. He is in a different company now.

Mr B, had access to Production, resolved an issue, but took out some personal vengeance during the testing and printed out improper words on a Purchase Order at one of the Business Branches with someone else's user id. An absolutely ridiculous act which spoiled all his reputation built up as "Security Czar" and a denial which led him directly out of the company...

Both of them lost control of themselves at the moment of truth, helm of power and responsibility. But I guess the mettle of person is tested in such situations. You pass and you feel better about yourself .. or you fail and fail miserably, lose everything you gained.

Oh God, how much ever sufferings you give me dont let me fail in one of such moments in my life.. You may not give me a lot of success in my life but give me the strength and courage and right conscience to pass such testing situations.. !

Friends and Quarrels

One of my college friend married recently. At this marriage, I met a few of my college time friends.
This meeting brought back the sad memories of college.. Not that my college time wasnt fun, but there was this last year where we had a girls hostel vs boys hostel quarrel which marred the relationships and friendships of previous three years.. Unfortunately this meeting brought out the bitterness of quarrel more than the long-term friendship. We took a lot of snaps with all of us in all the available cameras . My mobile did not have a camera. So I dont have any of the memories in snaps.. but my friends have them.. they are still my friends and I tend to remember the caring nature of the most bitter person, innocence of another, being there of the third and the helpful nature of fourth person and so on.. The bitterness of the quarrel does come to my mind, I am human and normal to get that, but i can force my mind to see beyond .. But can that quarrel be never solved? those friends.. can they be reclaimed in the same way.. the pure fun.. can I get that back ? Its been a long long time.. I have forgotten the details of the quarrel.. not sure how many do remember it even now.. but i have lost my friends.. a lot of them..
One of my best friend had then tried to soothe me out from the frustration , he was a part and then a spectator of the incident, by saying - how does the quarrel affect you? when you dint do any thing wrong why should you take the blame and get upset.. and those who last beyond such quarrels are real friends.. I did not accept it then, was too sad, frustrated, angry and lost about it..
This marriage, this meet brought out all the memories.. and yes, beyond the bitter people, I do have a few who have lasted. My best friend who helped me get on, the friend whose marriage I attended (He invited me two months earlier and then he found my number and called me two days before his marriage and made me cancel all other plans and coaxed me to be there for his marriage) , one other friend who called me "mummy" .. Though a handful, I do have got some of those who were in the quarrel. Well , Life's like that .. you win some , you lose some..
I hope to get the photos of the marriage from atleast one of the people who were at the marriage.. I hope he gets added to the handful who are in the real friends list..

Ego

 

Its such a mysterious thing. I just put a define:ego and whoa!! Such a long list ..

http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4SUNA_enUS292US292&q=define%3aego

 

To my perception, this one fits the bill

 

The self, especially with overtones of self-importance; The most conscious part of the mind, which mediates with one's surroundings

 

The reason, as usual, is in my surroundings. Seeing a lot of things happen due to ego, Clients, Colleagues, Friends, relatives and even mine

 

For mine not to affect anyone else, I guess need a different level of self-consciousness, a check on self every moment, Am I doing/saying this for some reason or am I doing it only because it affects me?

 

Lets see how it goes…

Followers

I found I have two followers!! I was so amused to have followers for a blog that is so infrequently updated..

Thanks Gullu and Purnima !! I already have you on Google Reader- So I get your updates when-it-happens..