Saturday, January 10, 2009

Friends and Quarrels

One of my college friend married recently. At this marriage, I met a few of my college time friends.
This meeting brought back the sad memories of college.. Not that my college time wasnt fun, but there was this last year where we had a girls hostel vs boys hostel quarrel which marred the relationships and friendships of previous three years.. Unfortunately this meeting brought out the bitterness of quarrel more than the long-term friendship. We took a lot of snaps with all of us in all the available cameras . My mobile did not have a camera. So I dont have any of the memories in snaps.. but my friends have them.. they are still my friends and I tend to remember the caring nature of the most bitter person, innocence of another, being there of the third and the helpful nature of fourth person and so on.. The bitterness of the quarrel does come to my mind, I am human and normal to get that, but i can force my mind to see beyond .. But can that quarrel be never solved? those friends.. can they be reclaimed in the same way.. the pure fun.. can I get that back ? Its been a long long time.. I have forgotten the details of the quarrel.. not sure how many do remember it even now.. but i have lost my friends.. a lot of them..
One of my best friend had then tried to soothe me out from the frustration , he was a part and then a spectator of the incident, by saying - how does the quarrel affect you? when you dint do any thing wrong why should you take the blame and get upset.. and those who last beyond such quarrels are real friends.. I did not accept it then, was too sad, frustrated, angry and lost about it..
This marriage, this meet brought out all the memories.. and yes, beyond the bitter people, I do have a few who have lasted. My best friend who helped me get on, the friend whose marriage I attended (He invited me two months earlier and then he found my number and called me two days before his marriage and made me cancel all other plans and coaxed me to be there for his marriage) , one other friend who called me "mummy" .. Though a handful, I do have got some of those who were in the quarrel. Well , Life's like that .. you win some , you lose some..
I hope to get the photos of the marriage from atleast one of the people who were at the marriage.. I hope he gets added to the handful who are in the real friends list..


PURN!MA said...

Hi Aparna,

I think everyone has fights and quarrels over petty issues. I'm sure what you have written here wasn't all that small to be forgotten.

I had a major fall out in college with some of my girl friends. But that wasn't just a fight for the sake of it. There I'd to stand up for myself and that's what I did and since then there has been no looking back. I had my pride and I had to defend it no matter what! I have still have bitter moments of those days yet have let them go as a small phase of life.

If things are going on the improvement way for you, then all the best! If not, I think you better move on saying it was never meant to be.

Aparna Pai said...

Thanks Purnima!..
The quarrel was not a petty one as you rightly guessed. and I guess it did make a difference at that point of time. Life has moved on a lot ahead and I know I havent kept the grudges. it was the behaviour of these guys that day made me write it. It hurts, and I write it down to put it out of my mind :-)
Once on my blog, the incidents stop affecting and the lessons learnt get more prominent..

Guljinder Singh said...

Har soch samay naal bajji hai,
te samay nu jaane samjhe kaun ?
Is samay nu je mein naam davaan,
Basant di Dhup, Patjhad di Paun.